REALITY check....Please

Okay, so I want to discuss the ability/INability to seperate LOGIC from EMOTION.Some people are walking through life CONFUSED. SOME people seem to think that BONING someone is the equivalent to being in a RELATIONSHIP.

MOST of these confused-ass people are females. I'm sooo NOT saying that men DON'T do it,but women are definitely far more guilty of it due to our emotional nature...I THINK that's why,at least.But, let me break a few things down that I've seen/heard/LEARNED over the years.

First, I wanna address the "fuck buddy"/friends with "benefits" issue first. Okay...having sex and hanging out with a man occasionally doesn't mean he's your "boyfriend" or that you are his "girlfriend" nor are you entitled to any boyfriend/girlfriend treatment. A relationship only exists when BOTH parties involved have a mutual understanding/agreement that that's what they BOTH want/have. If you're allowing a guy an all access pass to your lady parts,you have to set the standard of what you're gunna accept from him/know what you're dealing with.IF you're perfectly fine with giving a man who is NOT YOUR man,a free coupon to your all you can eat buffet,so be it(please use protection though, who know's who else he's dealing with)If you have allowed your emotions to get involved, you might(definitely) want to make sure, he's on the same page as you.

Another thing: If there is never an agreement reached that you guys are in a relationship,it's NOT a relationship! Regardless of how long he's been smashing you,no matter how many pairs of j's you've bought him,ect. THAT man is NOT YOUR man. Soooooo, you DON'T have the right to:
1.Question him regarding his whereabouts
2.get mad at him for not answering his phone/returning your calls in a timely manner
3.accuse him of "cheating" on you...lol
4.be upset if/when he flirts with,or even BONES some other chick
5. expect him to care about your feelings if you find out about it

Those ar just a few, but I'm sure you get my point.Don't just ASSUME your role in a man's life,step paway from your emotions and analyze the situation-KNOW(NOT assume) where you stand! Once you know that,either get comfortable in THAT position and sit down and take your seat,or walk away and find someone who gives a damn about your vagina AND your feelings and is willing to give you want and deserve.If you ever feel like a man is "playing" you and you feel the urge to call him an asshole or whatever,ask yourself if you allowed any of it by continuing to deal with him and his "asshole" behavior.If you have, then you need to point the finger at YOURSELF-you're the asshole for accepting less than your worth when deep inside you knew better(we ALWAYS know better...smh)Just because a man isn't ready to settle down doesn't make him an asshole.Now if he lied to you or misled you, than YES, he's an asshole(unless he did it more than once-you should be on your toes at that point).But if you saw red flags and ignored them any ways,YOU are the one to blame.Most of the time, a female will get mad at a guy for "doing them wrong" because their feelings are hurt,so instinctively, they(we) just get upset. But maybe she should pump her brakes,recall his "track" record,remember her title/place and realize that the person she needs to be upset with is herself. I know this situation all too well. In my last relationship, my bf at the time, put me through a LOT of shit. We were CONSTANTLY into it about "this bitch" or "that bitch" or why he lied about this or that,ect. So one day, I was just fed up and i "Broke up with him". I used the quotes, because I didnt really break up with him as in REALLY ending things, I simply said to him"I don't wanna do this anymore....I CANT do this anymore, so I'm not.....DO YOU"..... we had sex twice that night(lol) and the next day, I got a call from a friend, saying she saw him at "OUR" movie theatre with some breezy. I call him...VOICEMAIL. I get a text right after I called him saying "I'm at the group home(he worked at a group home), talking to my supervisor, I'll call you when he leaves" I was LIVID, I was seeing red. I could not wait to "bust him out" An hour later, he calls. I don't answer. He calls again, I don't answer. So he keeps calling and I didnt answer...I couldnt answer, what I needed to say needed to be said in person,face to face. He comes home, yelling at me about not answering MY fucking phone(nigga what??) so I ask him,FLAT out "Who were you at the movies with" he lied about the whole thing and I go OFF. I'm telling him how I dont deserve that, how I can do so much better, how I cant believe he would do that to me and make me look stupid in front of my friends,ect. Then, as I was yelling, he grabbed me and looked me straight in the eye and yelled "But, Im not your boyfreeeeeeiiiiiiinnnnnnddddddd!!!" he said some other shit about how I broke up with him, blah,blah,bla. But "I'm not your boyfriend" was all I heard and those words cut like a knife. I felt so dumb. I had said it was over, before I REALLY wanted it to be and I confused my fucking him that night with us getting back together....I played MYSELF.

Sex is a BIG thing for (most) females, and that's why when we bone someone, we feel like we're giving them the world....we're giving OUR world. I'm not built for a flat out "fuck buddy" situation. I'm very picky about who I give my goods to, and I know my goods are far too good to be given without a commitment. My motto is and has always been: If I fuck u, I OWN you...lol. It's that simple...lol

Sex is such a big thing to females, but a lot of them use no discression as to who they give their goods too, and a lot of them feel like they can change a man THROUGH sex, you may change him while he's in it, but a man is going to be a man,regardless. If a female enables a man to be an "asshole" by constantly forgiving him or choosing to look past certain things,that's HER fault.You can call him trifling or you can call yourself a fool,but which one REALLY makes sense? Okay then.

The bottom line is if you're NOT his "girlfriend" then don't expect much in terms of respect or common courtesy. You simply aren't entitled to those things if the main purpose you serve in his life is to be a warm and cozy place for him to park his dick in, from time to time, whenever he HAS time/feels like it.Bottom line: There are far too many fich in the sea for ANY woman to settle for anything less than what she is worth/desires. If all YOU want is a fuckbuddy, do YOU, by all means, but if you want something meaningful, keep your legs closed until you have an agreement. Not saying that by NOT giving up the goods, will higher ur chances of having a REAL relationship(well, I guess I kinda AM saying that...lol) but at leass, at the end of the day, you won't be left high and dry(and having to add another name to your list of sex partners) because you gave in,BEFORE any level of respect was established. I'm just saying....you may agree with me 110% OR you may be in denial and are against EVERYTHING I'm saying.....either way, by all means, DO YOU!