As I was driving this morning, I was listening to Ryan Seacrest on the radio(DON'T judge me...lol) and a woman called into the station for some relationship advice. Apparently, she had been married for the past 9 years to a man she really loved,BUT also a man whom early on in the relationship had cheated on her.She was saying how she "forgave" him and how they had "gotten past it",BUT the same feeling that she had before(about his infidelity) had returned and she didnt know whether to investigate or just try to shake the feeling. She was kind of investigating, out of fear of what she "may" find, BUT it's such a nagging feeling that she doesn't think that she will be able to shake it.Ryan asked people to call in and give advice too the woman who was seeking advice and to give their personal thoughts on the old saying "Once a cheater,ALWAYS a cheater" It was so shocking to hear all of what people had to say(BOTH men and women) there were A LOT of men who chimmed in on this topic and said that YES,they DO feel like it's true "Once a cheater,ALWAYS a cheater" I was so surprised, but also VERY refreshed to hear MEN say it.Of corse,most of the female callers had the same opinion. MY personal belief is that just because a person (male OR female) cheat once, or even twice, does not necessarily mean that they will ALWAYS cheat. There is ALWAYS that 50/50 chance. I don't think a person should be written off just because they fucked up. I have had my experience with a cheating boyfriend who I loved and knew that regardless of what he may have done, he loved me too, so I tried to "get passed" it, and I convinced myself that I could forgive and forget. I can honestly say that I forgave him,but, I never FORGOT about it, and that was ultimately what did us in. I loved him, and I wanted to just forget the whole cheating thing ever happend but my heart couldn't and because I chose to stay with someone who had cheated on me, I feel like I became a person that I'm not/wasn't. I became VERY insecure,VERY suspicious,VERY skeptical of everything he told me......it just became a fucked up situation, because he had "broken us" and the "trust" that I thought we had built.I regret ever giving that situation a second chance because at the end of it all, the NEGATIVE outweighed the POSITIVE by a long shot. All in all, I think everyone is different (in BOTH sides of the equation) I don't it's fair to s ay that because a person made a "mistake" once, that he or she will continue to make that same mistake....BUT in a given situation, the person at the recieving end of the dishonesty has to make a choice. It's not impossible to get past infidelity, it just takes a VERY strong person to HONESTLY and whole-heartedly get pa st it and forgive. My position in this, is that now, if a guy cheats, it's a wrap. I'm no longer giving second chances and trying to forgive something that shouldn't have n=been done in the first place.Cheating is more than sex;it's a lie;a breach in contract;the breaking of trust, and THAT'S what I (and so many other people) can't get past. The fact that no matter how you cut the cake, you LIED to ME(someone who you claim to love and care about) for the likes of "her"(someone who you just want to bone) and didn't think anything of it. That's a hard pill to swallow. NO woman wants to feel like another woman is better for her man or that their man even THINKS about other women,let alone would lie to us just for a quickie with some bum-bitch. That's an irreversible blow to our ego that we will NEVER let you live down...that's just what it is. Moral to this post is that I,personally don't buy into the whole "Once a cheat,ALWAYS a cheat" mentality because people change and they also learn from their mistakes. Anyone you deal with,you are taking a chance of being cheated on....if and when it happens, YOU have to decide the next move....choose wisely;its VERY hard to bounce back to the way things were before,AFTER he's cheated. I've been there and done that,and based on THAT situation have decided that if I am ever cheated on again, I will not try to "fix" what has already been broken....it takes too much.But, to each his own, and if you feel like giving a second chance would be worth it,OR if you are not ready to give up on things, by all means, WORK THAT SHIT OUT, BUT also,recognize that since he or she has ALREADY cheated on you, the chances that he or she will do it again almost double. Love is a gamble....sometimes you just have to figure out who's worth betting on.
