So this post is based upon a bunch of random things going on with me at the current moment.As of right now, at this very moment, I'm CONTENT. I'm "ok"...not happy but not sad either.It's only the 2nd month of the yer and so much has happend ALREADY. I've made ammends with someone who is very important to me; fixed a friendship that undoubtedly ended because of ME, and we are taking baby steps to hopefully get back what we once had (Sheri, If you're reading this, I love you, I'm glad we're talking and I'm sorry, again) and I've kind of ended a friendship that I thought/hoped would last forever(not my fault at all),I've come to some harsh realizations and som beautiful truths.I will be turning 25 in a matter of months and am freaking out! I have so many "wants" in my life and am FINALLY deciding to do what it takes to turn those "Wants" into "haves". Ive realized how many people (guys) are really checking for me(whether I see it or not), I had an amazing v-day that was completely last minute/uber unexpected, I found out how much my big brother/sister in law really support me/have my back,I've forgiven a friend and let go of a grudge I had been holding over something that happend that could not be taken back, Ive decided that I want to move out of Cali in the next 2 years(at the most)I've decided to SERIOUSLY and deligently look for a better job and Ive also decided to get a personal trainer to get me back in shape. I've FINALLY had a heart to heart with my sister about how I feel about our less than Kosher relationship. Ive GROWN in so many ways...any one who knows me, knows that for me, the easiest way to "deal" with a problem is to NOT deal with it at all, and Ive changed that about myself.I love "fixing" problems,friendships,relationships,ect. My confidence has risen;Im content with what I see in the miror, I love myself, flwas and all.Ive been blessed with amazing people that stay in my corner no matter what. I have people I can call when I need to laugh,cry,rant,rave,vent,or get advice from and I see the blessing in that because I used to be such a private/closed off person that no one ever REALLY knew what was going on with me and I carried so much and yet no one had a clue. I've learned to cry when I need to cry and to not be afraid to let go. I've learned that Im living my lif on God's terms and as bad as I may want something/someone/something to happen, if its SUPPOSED to happen it will and I am more than okay with that. I think that more than anything, I just feel like I have this sense of "peace" in my life right now. I don't entertain any drama therefore I have none.I try to find the bright side of every situation because there is ALWAYS a bright side.I take the "high road" in a lot of situations. I laugh a lot more, I smile a lot more....Ihave a lot to be happy about and Im the happiest I've been in a while. Im single and Im fine with that because I don't ever FEEL alone. I feel a lot more comfortable in my own skin which is HUGE for me. I'm making plans (short term) that are attainable and realistic and Im excited about checking them off of my list. Life is good right now, but Im looking for GREAT....I have a pair of little eyes who is watching my every move and hopefullu gaining inspiration from me. I aspire to inspire, or at least display happiness

Stay Beautiful
-J Bellz