5 Things that have RUINED Black Women

What's happening to Black Girls while Nerds,Inspiring Rappers and social rejects seem to flourish in these "New" technologically advanced times. For some reason, sooooo many BLACK women have gotten off to such a bad start in the past few years, it's truly saddening and sometimes EMBARRASSING to wear the title "BLACK WOMAN" I know everyone is different and should be treated accordingly but we ALL know that that isn't realistic now-a-days or really EVER. Something is happening to Black women though, there is a "defect' in ALL of us and if Doc Brown comes to me and says "Jolie, it's 2011 now, and by the year 2031, ALL decent Black Women, EXCEPT yourself will be EXTINCT" I would believe him because I already see the signs:





*INDIAN HAIR

Black Women will do ANYTHING to get it, they have even PROUDLY boasted about how having that "good shit" sewn into their head tops their list of MUST do's. Women will pay their rent/car not LATE to have a new weave right after pay day. They will even put the shit on lay-away....I didn't even think you could still put shit on lay-away, then I find out you can set up a payment plan for some fucking HAIR!!COME ONNNNNNN,sonn!! In India, they give this shit away (well, the sell it, but for a very small price)...they eat some curry,drink a 5-hour energy and go to the temple and get their hair shaven off. I'm not gunna try and act "Holier than thou" and pretend that I don't like a good weave every NOW AND THEN, but handling my business takes priority over EVERYTHING....ESPECIALLY over a few ounces of Remi. I couldn't imagine spending HUNDREDS, even THOUSANDS of dollars on HAIR!! I feel like it's a woman's job to know how to make herself look good...with or without a weave or, if u do wear a weave, the pricetag shouldnt necissarily determine how good ur shit looks...a real woman knows how to "work her shit" I've only had 2 full weaves in my entire life, I've always done my own hair and I with a good flat iron and ebough Jedi mind control to have my CLIP INS give Naomi Campbells weave a run for her money. BOSS UP,Ladies!




*SKINNY JEANS


Face it: Skinny Jeans are in, but I can't stand to see them worn the wrong way. The skinny jean plague is running Rampant through Urban America. At first it was all good, but then bitches started thinking/acting like skinny jeans were one size fits all . I was shopping one day and went to go try on some clothes, I overheard 2 girls in the fitting room next to me debating on whether one of the friend's should buy some skinnies and I heard one "friend" say "If you can fit into them, you should get them, girl" in the words of Shakespeare "Where fort thou doish that at?" I'm thinking "Skinny jeans aren't pajama pants,bitch! Not everyone looks right in them,therefore not everyone should rock them!" If you squeeze your wide ass in them, it looks like a fight is being waged in your pants.The first victim is taste,second victim is class and the third victim is that poor zipper. If you have thick legs, wear a skirt...men love to see thick thighs accentuated by a tiny(but fitting) skirt. Don't try to keep up with the Keri Hilsons of the world, unless you're willing to eat NOTHING but pussy and celery sticks, like Ms. Keri does(nothing wrong with that, I may add...lol)







*Facebook

I know I'm extremely late, but I have YET to see "The Social Network" but when I do, I hope it begins with a scrolling caption "BEFORE Black People Joined...." and THEN tell the story. If I was white, I'd be racist after seeing how Blacks treat their facebook pages...Black WOMEN in particular. I'm not talking about the "classic" bathroom pics that we ALL have, I'm talking about the dumb ass feed stories and internet slander that goes on all day,every day.Hint: "inseider" or "they know who they are" sounds young as shit and make you look dumb and uber immature. If you have a problem with your cousin's girlfriend, inbox the bitch, or better yet, pick up a phone like the old days. I dodn't sign up to be in the middle of a catfight. Ive also seen women post some of the loneliest, attention grabbing shit I've ever seen in my life. I once saw a girl update her relationship status FOUR times in the span of a week-ONE week. I just felt like if the relationship is THAT rocky,babygirl shouldn't you hold off on letting the internet know you're "engaged" until you actually get the ring, or at LEAST a clean Aids test back that you've been hoping for? Facebook is becoming a mess. Guys stay on Facebook cus they think it's the new Myspace, with bitches who actually respond to messages. WE stay on Facebook because it's the closest thing to a shallow High School experience since, well, High School






*BLACK MEN




As Black women, we are intelligent, sexy and compassionate amongst other things. Of all women, I think the Black Woman has the ability to survive, adapt and basically make something out of nothing, use what we have to get what we want and then some. I thought we would have seen a Black FEMALE President before a Black Male president....so what happend?? NIGGAS.You can take the most put together Black Woman, but once a man puts his hooks in, it's a wrap! I don't care if you're a Law student or working the counter at Jamba Juice, once a nigga dicks you down or talks to you the "right way" you'll throw everything away...we've ALL been there or WILL be at one point o another. And if you don't or haven't, you will at LEAST come close to it.I've been one and have seen a woman who becomes emotionally unhinged after a man did her/does her dirty. Hearing the term "Niggas ain't shit" translated to us as :"BEWARE OF DOG" when we were little.Just like that kid that hard headed kid that throws his ball in the next yard and goes in to get it, knowing he's gunna get a chunk of his ass bitten off if he does. As Black Women, we will read all the books, memorize EVERY issue of Cosmo,exchange horror stories of how/why "NIGGAS AIN'T SHIT" with our girls,see ALL the warning signs and bear YEARS of experience---but if a nigga's game is tight enough, we will re-enter that "yard" KNOWING our ass is grass.SMH




*NICKI MINAJ

This bitch(who's music I adore, for the most part) has driven Black Women fucking MAD!! She has Whoopi Goldberg looking bitches calling themselves "Barbie", she has bitches thinking it's okay to rock bleach-blonde hair,regardless of their complexion.She has every female from the age of like 13 to like 34 changing their last name on myspace ti "Minaj", she has gay guys thinking that wearing pink and wearing a pink wig/taking "sexy" pictures makes them look like a "Barbie"....her whole image has taken the eff over!! Black Women have lost their damn minds! I love Nicki(been rocking with her and her music from day one...BIG fan) but if I see one more(just one) fat black woman rocking a catsuit,trying to be like Nicki/partially blinding us ALL...I'm gunna flip my lid!! Ro-Ro- Roger THAT!

This post is one that I probably should have started the year off with BUT better late than never, I guess. I just want to encourage EVERYONE to follow their dreams. WHATEVER your dream may be, no matter how big or small, no matter how impossible it may seem, follow that shit until you live it. I'm def going to practice what I preach in many different ways.As you know, at one point in time modeling was my biggest dream. I wanted to model more than I wanted to live, but growing up the way I did, I gave that dream up after years of no support from the person I felt I needed it from never happend. My brother's ex girlfriend wants me to persue modeling soooooooo bed. She is ALWAYS hitting me up with info on casting calls, ect. And just recently, my brother actually told me that I was beautiful and that modeling was my calling and NOT to deny that part of my life. It always feels so nice to hear people ask if I model or suggest that I do so. Modeling is just one of many dreams that I am going to try and persue. I just have to stop second guessing myself on things.I want to be an inspiration to my son to show him that sky really is the limit and that he can do ANYTHING he wants and I def want to lead by example and SHOW him as opposed to just TELLING him. I dont want to make this a long and drawn out post, so I will keep it simple in saying:FOLLOW YOUR DREAMS!! If you've always dreamt of being a professional Ninja Turtle, DO THAT SHIT!! We only get one life and any and everything we want is ours for the taking!! Dream big and work hard!! Own this year!

Had a conversation with a pretty close male friend and we were talking about WHY we feel we're single,what we want in a person,and things like that and he said something that kind of threw me. He told me that I was a lot of what he wanted in a woman and that he found himself comparing women that considered dating to ME(personality wise) and he also said that the main reason he had never pressed me was because he valued our friendship too much and didn't want to think of us potentially breaking up and breaking OFF our friendship. He said everything all casual like like it was no big deal....the way of a man, I guess. I was very flattered and it just solidified the fact that you NEVER really know who's "watching you" and you never REALLY know how much of an impact you can make on someone's life without realizing they even care enough to notice. This reminded me of the movie "Just Wright" a little bit, because of the way Queen Latifah's character in the movie was "sticking to the script" so to speak with her "relationship" with Common's character(she never tried to press, kept things kosher), the same way I have with this friend and unbeknownst to me AND Queen Latifah's character, someone was taking notice. Someone who I didn't think cared enough(in that way) to care enough to notice at all.I think it ALL comes down to personality and a person's heart. I like to make people laugh...I like to laugh. I'm the first to laugh at myself or call MYSELF out. What you see is what you get with me, I don't have many angles,I lay my cards out on the table, and I have such a "take it or leave it" attitude, it's ridiculous...lol I'm full of flaws,but I'm stitched together with good intentions. I don't claim to be "different", I just don't try to be the same. I'm ME,I never switch up...I stay true by any means necessary and I think people take notice. I don't "try"...trying can get tiring after a long time of doing it and I can be a lazy bum sometimes...lol I don't really know what the main point in this post is, so I will just make one up. BE YOU, by any means.....BE YOU. You NEVER know who's watching/taking notice. A genuine person is the most beautiful of them all.If you are genuinely a BITCH, BE that 7 days a week.No matter who/what you are,OWN that shit.....that's what makes you,YOU and sets you apart from the rest of them...don't try to blend in, if you're on some OTHER shit, STAY on it.At the end of the day, you are who you are, regardless of what you let other people see...why NOT let them see it.Personality is attractive, having a confident/STRONG personality is even sexier. Be you, you sexy bitch!! LOL

Sincerely Yours

-J Bellz

Focusing on Staying Focused

So, it's 2011, I will be 25 this year(Ugh, I can't cope....),my son will be 5, and on my list of accomplishments, I draw a blank. This saddens me, so. It's weird because by the time I was 18 and left home, I had an idea of what my life would "end up" being like.....what my life turned out to be is the polar opposite.

I was a lot like Joan from Girlfriends.....By 30 I wanted to be finished with school,pursuing a successful career,married(or engaged),child-less, and HAPPY. Yeah, that was my plan....but LIFE happend. Im not going to go into detail about what "went wrong" or anything.....instead, I will just "RE-WRITE" my plan, and this time, I'll be sure to include reality.

My plans are a lot of what they were when I was that 18 year old girl, in my room "planning" my life BEFORE I left home, thinking that because I was "planning" before acting, the chips would fall in the right order.

*School. I've decided to go back. What's kept me from going back sooner, was a combination of being unsure of what I wanted to go to school FOR,not having time to go(my son wasn't in school),and my second guessing myself(as I ALWAYS do). I've decided that I want to WRITE.Writing has ALWAYS been my "escape". I write everything. I LOVE words, so I'm going to do something with that love. I want to be a journalist,an editor,SOMETHING. I'm just ready to move forward with school and get it OVER with.

*Work. I'm going to find another job A-S-A-P.I like my job and I adore the people that I work with, BUT with every passing day, I see/FEEL myself getting too comfortable in this job, which realistically is a dead-end job. I was going to use my vacation time up(I'm supposed to go to Baltimore and New York in June) and THEN seek other employment, but why wait?? I feel like my "Vacation" EXCUSE is just a way for me to buy time....Im not doing it. I'm still planning my vacay, BUT I'm also going to be ACTIVELY seeking other employment. If I find a job then my vacay is obviously out and if I don't, I'll still take my vacay,all the while,job-hunting

*Life. I'm ALWAYS striving to be a better person. I just feel like there are more than enough douche bags in the world,without me adding to. I just live by the code:"Do unto others as you would have them do unto you" it's that simple. I know it's easier said than done, and you might ask "what do you do when you're dealing with an asshole?" my answer is"I don't". I surround myself with an awesome crowd. I don't deal with negative people(on purpose). All in All, I think I'm a pretty good person. I'm honest(sometimes brutally),I'm open and accepting,Im caring and nurturing by nature, I actually give a shit about people. I pray for my friends and family, I give my tithes and offerings EVERY week(I cant go to church because I get off sunday mornings and dont wanna fall asleep in church...go ahead, judge me),ect. I think Im "good" but I want to be better. Nothing wrong with a daily upgrade

*Diet. So I decided to stop stressing over my weight. I've ALSO decided to TRY to become a vegetarian and work out at least 3 times a week.I'm not doing either to lose weight(well, maybe the working out....I mean, who just works out for fun?!?!)I'm finally learning to accept what I see in the mirror. My weight IS something that haunts me,though and it isn't the easiest thing to transition from being really skinny and able to eat whatever I wanted and NOT gain weight to feeling like I have to watch everything that I eat. I NEVER say anything when I'm eating with/around friends, but what I eat/how MUCH I eat is ALWAYS in the back of my mind, because I know that I can't eat what I want,anymore. It's hard and no one gets it because to them I look "fine". It's a struggle. Im going to do my part and let the chips fall where they may. God gave me this body and I'm stuck with it,whether I want to be or not....it's about time I start embracing it and finding comfort in everyone else liking what they see,when they look at me.

*Life in General. I plan on "changing" a bit. I plan to be more open, live in the moment,stop over thinking things,I plan on traveling,taking more "me" time. I plan to be OUT of California by the time I'm 27. I don't know WHERE I will end up, but it will not be in California. I want my son to experience life outside of Los Angeles,which is ALL he knows, so far. I'm over Cali...it's over populated,over priced,and over rated. I'm DONE. I'm gunna start thinking of what state I want to move to. 2 Years is not very long to plan your life in another state, but I shall Try

*Relationships. I'm SINGLE and have been for almost a year and a half (YIKES!) and I've convinced myself that I was content with loneliness because I knew that for a little bit of that time, I was still partially emotionally invested in my ex. I wanted nothing with/from him but I still had feelings that hadn't ended with the relationship. I chose to completely cut him out of my life; not respond to texts,calls,emails,act so that I could get over that situation. Mission:Accomplished.Even still, when he and I first broke up, I dated....A LOT, and when I finally accepted WHY I was going out so much with different guys that I had ZERO interest in, I stopped dating.The thing is, I know myself and if I do something out of the norm, I question MYSELF before anyone else can. I've been single and happy for the most part. I def have my days where Im like, "fuck this shit" and consider a relationship but I don't know that Im ready for one,OR if it's REALLY what I want. I think more than anything, Im turning into a man....I want "nigga shit"; someone to go out with when I feel like going out,someone to bone whenever I want on some NSA shit,someone to cuddle up with at night(not so nigga-like,but still..lol) I just want somebody when I WANT somebody.I don't want the emotional obligation that comes along with a RELATIONSHIP. I wanna fall asleep on the phone, "good morning" texts,date nights,good sex,ect. I want every part of a RELATIONSHIP, WITHOUT the commitment.

All in All, I think my plans are VERY realistic and very achievable. Ain't nothin' to it but to do it, and that is my plan. Im gunna really stick to the script and make shit happends. My son is getting older and older and when someone asks him what his mommy does for a living, I want him to be proud of his answer. I don't just live for myself, I have a set of little(and perfectly symetrical) eyes watching and learning from me EVERYDAY. Being a "Good Mom" is a HUGE task that I don't take lightly. God will never give me more than I can handle and I take comfort in that.