ROOOAAADDDDTTTTRRRIIIPPP!!!

So TODAY is the day that I've been waiting for,for about a month; MY TRIP TO VEGAS!!!!I' GEEKED!! I need this mini-vacay in the worst way imaginable. I feel a bit guilty/uneasy because I won't see My Love(Cameron)until Monday, and we have only spent like 1 or 2 weekends away from eachother and he's 4,so I know he's pretty used to our schedule and I'm sure he's gunna be expecting me to pick him up in the morning, like I do EVERY MORNING.I need this break though.....FINALLY a bit of "ME" time to act my age and do things that people my age do(go out,drink,enjoy themselves).Im going with a bunch of friends which makes me happy,because all I need is good company to have a good time (wooooo-hoooo)Took me like 2 days to pack, countless days of shopping(a lot of times NOT finding anything and having to go to a different mall at a different time), but I got it all organized and packed up and now Im ready to roll.. I am concerned about my halloween costume,though. Im waiting on the arrival of the SECOND one that I've ordered. The first one got lost by the Post Office and the second one, I ordered ONLY because they garaunteed that I would recieve it by today, so my fingers are crossed that I get it in time for us to hit the freeway to beat traffic. I'm so excited about this weekend and vow to have as much fun as I can,drink as much as I can handle and just have as much fun as I can stand.I hope you all have a fun and SAFE Halloween weekend...I will do a post/recap of my weekend, sometimes next week WITH pictures.Untill next time,Stay Beautiful,Bellas XOXOXOX JBellz

The Illuminati??

This post is one that for me, has been a long time coming. "What's this about?" you ask (or don't) THE ILLUMINATI. I am beyond tired of hearing about something that is supposed to be a secret.Im so sick of hearing ignorant people pick and choose WHO is a part of the Illuminati,What certain people's words "must" mean,how they "know"so and so MUST be in the Illuminati,ect. I have to bee 100, for a while there,I was getting sucked into that shit(the dumb shit,NOT the Illuminati, u fool) and was findong myself on youtube,ask.com,and all over my friends fb pages(u know, those who have "PROOF" that certain rappers/musicians are Masons,ect)SIMPLY PUT:I DON'T GIVE A FUCK who is who,who does what,who belioeves in what,who he/she represents....I just DON'T.....anymore. Its getting to the point where people are calling any and everything "EVIL" for one reason or another. It'sto the point were if you even MENTION "satan","the devil" OR the Illuminati, you are "OBVIOUSLY" part of it and you "CLEARLY" don't believe in God.If you MENTION satan, u worship him??I guess Preachers,Pastors,ect better watch what they say then, too,huh??Religion is a VERY dificult thing to discuss "openly because their are so many different opinions,beliefs,and perspectives and that is a HUGE reason I normally stay away from discussing it...lol But this shit is out of hand. The people who are pointing the finger and categorizing people are the SAME ones who are supposed to KNOW that casting judgement on ANYONE is wrong, and yet they are the first ones who will pass judgement on the "unknown"...thats my biggest pet peeve; when someone passes judgemnt on someone/something or decides it/they are wrond or bad just because THEY DON'T UNDERSTAND.Shame on these so called Christians who are so quick to chose whats right and wrong all the while BEING wrong. In the Bible...the book of John(not sure of the exact scripture) says
"Let him who is WITHOUT sin cast the first stone" meaning(in MY opinion,any ways) unless you are perfect(which NONE of us are) you should not look down on, judge,or deem anyone less than you would yourself.In REAL life, NONE of us live by this...NONE of us.But it's become so much more apparent with this whole Illuminati thing going around. My theory in all of this:It is what it is. They are who/what they are...it isnt affecting me in the LEAST(I know who I am) and at the end of the day, f what is being said IS true, they will have to deal with whatever they are dealt by whomever/whatever deals it.THE FUCKING END. The moral of this story,boys and girls:Do you,Live YOUR life,and don't EVER get so wrapped up in some shit that MAY or MAY NOT be...Who gives a fuck either way?!?!

She got "GAME"??

This post may be a little backwards to some, but should make perfect sense to others. Recently(about a week ago) I was having a conversation with a friend that I've known for a while and we were on the subject of guys; the 2 guys she is dating, in particular. She was telling me about how she was having problems with one and how the other one was perfect and how for some reason, she was waaaaaay more interested in being with the "fuck up". She was saying how she doesn't know what to do to get him to become the man she wants him to be, yadda yadda yadda. She said how when they argue(mostly about dumb shit)she doesnt know how to get her point across WITHOUT sounding like a "bitch" or "nag" and she said how she was vexed because the feelings/emotions that she has towards him were not planned....they "just happend" and how she tried NOT to get too emotionally involved in their "situation"....she THEN said "I wish I was like you(pause) you have game" I was thrown by this...I hit her with a LOUD "WHAT?!?!" she said it again "you have game" I asked her what her definition of "game" was and she pretty much described it as being able to keep guys interested,with or without sex. I didnt like the way it felt to be told I have "GAME"...I have PERSONALITY....HUGE difference.When I hear someone say that they or someone else has game, I associate thet with being fake,superficial,phony,a fraud,a liar,an oppurtunist,EVERYTHING I'M NOT. When I told her there was a difference between having game and having personality, she got quiet as if I offended her (maybe I did)but to me, it's true. She went on to say that I "must have something, cause I know at LEAST 3 dudes that originally were trying to holla at/fuck u that havent fucked yet and STILL call u to check up on you,STILL wanna hang out and do shit EVEN THOUGH they know they will probably NEVER fuck"......she got me with that one.The shit is true...lol BUT, I think that point takes it back to MY original point, I have PERSONALITY...no guy in the WORLD would call,wanna take out,chill with,even fuck with a girl he wasnt boning,WAY after the facty,IF she didnt have "something"...I guess I have that "thing"but I am not misleading with my shit. If I don't plan on boning you, you will know....PERIOD. There is a difference between someone u havent boned YET and someone you will NEVER bone...and I think each guy knows their position...lol The difference between myself and a lot of OTHER chicks is that, quite frankly;I'M NOT EASY....thats it. My standards are set kind of high(compared to those of those skeezers who you can buy dinner,pay her a few fake ass compliments and be in her panties by the end of the first date....SECOND date,MAX) I know my worth and whats more, I know what I DON'T want,and I KNOW how sex can complicate things.....I know how sex (even amazing,mind-blowing sex) can only keep the interest of a man(EVEN a "good" man) for so long. Men(REAL) men want depth almost as much as women do.I NEVER want to be seen as a joke,a quick bone,a jumpoff,another notch in a man's belt,ect......so I don't act like one.Maybe PERSONALITY is the new "Game"(thats that 2012,futuristic type shit..lol)but for NOW,I would MUCH rather be seen as a chick with mad personality than the chick with mad game....just a personal preference of mine.To all the females/men who actually have game(you know the type; the ones that can sell ice to an eskimo,the type that can hand u a picture of the BLUE sky, talk to you for 2 minutes and have u swearing that shit is purple)Do you1(Pimps and Pimpettes,REJOICE!!)BUT for those of us rely on PURE,UTTER,RAW,UNCUT,OFF COLOR,QUIRKY,RANDOM,OFF BEAT PERSONALITY, I tip my hat to you and say "Power to the People"*Black Power Fist Pump*

XOXOXOXO J Bellz

Last Resort

Even though I exude shifts of Independence I long for some presence Strong and reserved,I have ALWAYS been determined to overcome EVERY battle I've ever lost OR won,I will also fight for those to come But every step of the way has been a brick for stability Loosely packed, I pack my emotions in hopes of some connecting energy To seal the cracks that have been left;Open & Timid to be an option but refusing I refuse to be ANY man's last piece of the day; An opening for someone else to fill,without caring about how it will leave them less than fulfilled I need something REAL;something more legitimately pleasing to mind AND body Who am I kidding? I vowed once before and over again that I'd never be a last resort to ANY man's list of options In any situation, you dont always give what you get. In EVERY situation, I give 110 percent WITHOUT ever questioning reasons I'm finally seeing what my worth is No ore excuses to substitute genuine reciprocation As I release every ounce of myself,dropping my wall...brick by brick Hoping that helping me rebuild is something you would see fit And you would see something in me that you saw as "worth it" and you would stop what you were doing and help me rebuild By putting me FIRST......way before the last Acknowledging my importance before the time has passed I'm left with no support Except empty words and fragmented feelings that break easily, Because I only wished to be as strong as the feelings as soon as they occur NEVER a last resort, Because to you, I'm well-worth being FIRST

Yesterday, I went and did something that for the last 4 years or so has been very normal for me: I went and got tested for HIV. I've done this twice a year since I was 18 and living on my own(not having to hide the fact that I was sexually active from an overly-judgmental mother and an overly-protective brother..lol) Getting tested for H.I.V. is something I do for MYSELF....everytime I go, I already know what the results will be, but going and getting tested gives me the reassurance I crave from time to time, and every time my results come back NEGATIVE, I thank God for giving me the wisdom to protect myself,the STRENGTH to speak up in situations that I am not comfortable in and NEVER let anything happen(sexually) that I am not comfortable with.The AIDS epidemic is just that:an EPIDEMIC that is killing people,every race.creed,color,sex,age,ect. AIDS is a disease that has NO FACE....when we think of AIDS,we think of someone who LOOKS sick...that isn't always the case....MANY people carry this disease for YEARS and never know it....I think THAT is what scares me most and THAT is what keeps me going and getting tested twice a year, EVERY year, even though, according to my dr. Im "Low-Risk" (they determine this by your lifestyle) Whats more, AIDS is affecting AFRICAN AMERICAN women and showing NO MERCY.I REFUSE to be a part of this epidemic....I REFUSE. I've seen the affects DIRECTLY....I had an uncle die of AIDS. I think it's important for us to protect ourselves and help in stopping the spread of this deadly disease....it's simple; if you have sex, protect yourself...thats it.AIDS has NO face and unless you and your partner are BOTH tested and the results come back negative and u SEE the results for yourself, you don't really know WHO you are having sex with or WHAT kind of risk you are taking.....Think about it and know your worth. Don't cut out years of your life for a few minutes of pleasuer...it's not worth it...it's not worth your life. Protect yourselves and GET TESTED....when you know that you have a Negative status, something inside you desires to KEEP it that way...for me at least.

Here are a few links about AIDS as a disease AND as an EPIDEMIC. Educate yourselves AND eachother.
http://www.thebody.com/content/whatis/art17002.html http://www.avert.org/usa-states-cities.htm http://www.caresclinic.org/hiv/aids/california-hivaids-statistics.html

PUSHING....FORWARD

Today was a good day
I laughed a little
Cried A little
& some things didn't go as planned
But nonetheless, I got through it.

I'm work & I started thinking.
I want a closer relationship with God
I must admit, I have been slacking in that area of my life
But I believe once I get that in order..
Things should flow much more smoothly
Bear with me though, this is gunna take some time.
I'm guna have to drop some of my bad habits
& others might not be too happy with the results
..if they care they will still be around.
"with age comes maturity"
this is an issue that I've put on the back burner
it's been bugging me & its time i acknowledge it.

There is so much going on around me
I need to focus on my dreams
&
make them reality
I'm getting way too comfortable with this lifestyle
& believe me this ain't something im tryna get use to.

until next time.<3>

A little "Get to know me"

THE INTRODUCTION OF JBellz

Nicknames
Jo,JoJo,Jolie,Jo Baby,Too Sweet,Joseph(don't ask...lol) J Smoove,JBellz
Where do you live
Hawthorne,California

What's your age
24 years young

Hair colour
Brown-Black

Height
5'6-ish

Date of Birth
June 8,1986...check your history books,bitches..lol

What's your star sign
Gemini

How many siblings
3 sisters 2 Brothers

How many pets
Zilch....I want a dog,though =0(

Obsessions
Kanye West,Makeup,Models, New Restaurants,My son,Lotions/body creams

What makes you happy?
Food and a fresh pair of double AA batteries

What really irritates you?
cereal flakes dried up and stuck to the bowl with coagulated milk,people who are not consistent,lies,cheats,bad parents,cheap weaves,pajamas worn in public,traffic,pessimists

What makes you sad
when kids are mistreated,when someone I care about is sad,females that smoke weed,Katt Stack$,when chicks get eyelash extensions done at the nailshop =0(
What makes you angry?
when people lie to my face....ESPECIALLY when I know the truth...smh

What's the best advice you've ever received?
To trust my intuition in ANY situation,and I will NEVER fail...at least not miserably

Who was the last person you spoke to?
Sean

What was the last thing you ate?
Bolillo and a Latte...a BIG ASS latte :0/

What was the last thing you drank?
Water...Imma get these 8 glasses down, if it kills me!

What's the best thing you've ever been given?
I guess aside from being GIVEN life, what's next was the gift of being able to GIVE life. God gave me my prince....hands DOWN the biggest gift I could have ever been given.


Favorite thing to do on a hot summers day?
Go and get ice cream with Cam,go to the park,BBQ's, drive around in short shorts and sunglasses with a Jambe Juce in hand....feeling myself, of course =0)
Favorite thing to do on a snowy winters day?
Cook,watch movies,cuddle,board/card games with my boo (damn, it's fall....I gotsta get a man...lol) Odress my fucking ass off....the colder seasons have the BEST fashion, in my opinion...gives u the chance to be sexy WITHOUT the "sex sells" tag...takes a badd bitch to make a turtleneck look sexy...lol
If you were granted 3 wishes, what would they be?
Perfect health fom me and my entire family,MONEY;Pay me in Euros,please...lol, and 10 more wishes =0)

If you could go back in time to see or change something, when would it be and what would you do?
I would go back in time and be that "little voice" in my friends head that should have told her to get up and go check on my God son....he and Cam would have been here TOGETHER, plotting to take over the world,I'm sure and continuing to melt my heart. R.I.P. Jeremiah.


What's the first thing you think about when you wake up?
I don't think...I pray

Have you ever been in love?
I thought so, at the time.LOVING someone and BEING IN LOVE with them are 2 TOTALLY different scenarios...Lesson Learned

If you could choose your own death, how would you go?
HAPPY....I know that's not EXACTLY answering the question, but to me, it's all that matters

Would you ever consider having plastic surgery?
of course....*cups my young C cups* im talking about when they cover my belly button i will need to seek the man in the white coat with the shiny scalpel

Do you have any regrets in life?
No regrets, just lessons learned...regrets require harboring feelings...I don't wanna do all that over some shit I will NEVER be able to change or take back...it is what it is...PERIOD

What is a turn on?
humor and confidence and brains and men who wear nice underwear and smell good

What is a turn off?
Not being able to laugh at yourself....I laugh at myself more than I laugh at other people...you should be able to take a joke.Someone who lies of bullshit,

What physical feature are you attracted to the most?
ARMS.....there is something very "I am man" about a nice set of arms

What's the most irritating thing about them?
they have two heads....and think only with one

Describe your ideal partner?
Funny,honest,charming,genuine,caring,understanding,confident,self sufficent,hard-working,a PARTNER

Describe yourself in 3 words
Hilarious(that made u laugh,didn't it?? point=proven),caring,guarded