Okay, this post is random, but I was having a convo, today with one of my dearest friends about "loving yourself".Its funny because I feel like it took me a long while to get to the point where I could HONESTLY say that I DO love myself. We were talking about how, a lot of times, if a woman is cheated on, it can affect her self esteem, because she starts to question her value and question whether or not she is "good enough". In my last relationship, I WAS cheated on....A LOT. BUT I only questioned myself for a quick second, and QUICKLY came to the conclusion that it wasn't ME. I am pretty cool with my ex's ex-wife, who went through the same things I went through in that relationship, and because of that, I think she and I are as cool as we are: we "get" it.I don't think I would EVER question myself again when it comes to relationships, because I know how I am in them. .....therefore, I KNOW it's not me. My friend was saying how, if a guy cheats on you with someone completely different, it DOES make you question yourself...I get that and it's true, BUT for every POSITIVE will be a NEGATIVE. Case in point: my ex cheated on me with a girl with a huge ass(I was skinny at the time and admittedly, didnt have much booty, but overall, my body was nicer than hers....BITCH...lol)BUT she had NO boobs.She ALSO had FOUR kids....four BAD ASS kids.She was a loser; no job,not educated,hood as shit.....she was simply put: a "bum bitch". I was everything she wasn't and THAT was the part that stung me a little bit...Not saying Im the baddest bitch walking, but I couldnt understand how he could go from this *waves hand up and down body* to THAT. Thats always how it is though(according to my brother) a guy will have what he WANTS at home but for one reason or another, it's not enough. The nature that's given to men, I guess. I used to think that if a guy cheated, he must not love you....BUT I got older and watched my brother, closer and closer and came to the conclusion that one has nothing to do with the other. I KNOW my ex loved me, BUT he cheated like a mo-fo. Like I said, I questioned myself for a second and after I realized that HE was the problem,NOT me...I hanged my "game". Im soooo past the whole "be pleasing" mentality. Im not gunna make myself a better "fit" for anybody...if we click, we click. If we dont,we dont. Its so funny, because I used to care what people thought about me sooooo much, and now, I have such a strong "take it or leave it attitude", it's crazy...lol. But the thing about me is that I've ALWAYS been the type to lay my cards out on the table kind of girl....ALWAYS. Im no front, what you see is what you get and I will NEVER switch up.Thats just ME. I am who I am and I love who I am. Its just sad to me that even though she said differently, I know that my friend was starting to question herself....that sucks because to me, she's perfect.She has also ALWAYS had very high self esteem, and to see her doubting herself makes me sad. We had a long heart to heart and I can only hope that I got through to her.
